Me, myself and I. Do I sound like I'm in vain enough about myself? I was a little bit uncertain on making this post about myself, owing to the fact that it makes me feel self-absorbed. Do you know how it feels? When you're blabbing about yourself that you can't even cut it out. But I'll try.
Hi! You know my name, but not my story as what they say. I believe that's kind of true. I'm not even sure if anybody reads this crap about me that's probably going to waste the next minutes of your life. But I figured not all people think that. Surprise surprise, this has nothing to do with fashion, at all. I was just thinking earlier that I've spent months writing about designers, clothes, and all other things related to fashion, but it was never me. Not to be conceited, but some of you might wonder who's the girl behind all of this. And here I am, telling you what you've always wanted to know.
I'm just a girl. A girl who's stuck in the real life. A girl who daydreams a lot that sometimes it becomes a goal for her. Yes, living in Italy is my dream, has always been my dream. Every second of my day I spend it with anything that has Italy's touch in it. I go to Istituto di Moda Burgo (IMB), Italian fashion school. You can call it a college, but don't be so surprised that I'm in college at the very young age, sixteen. I finished school earlier than some people, it's just this my previous school's program thingy. Pretty sure you don't want to go there, so much more complicated when it comes to explaining the program. So yeah, being in IMB pretty much changed my life. I didn't know at first what I wanna be, but as time goes by, I somehow found it out. I want to be a fashion designer. It sounds more like a goal now, and I keep telling myself that it is and will always be my goal that has to be achieved with love, not because I was forced to. To be more specific, I want to be a big fashion designer. I want to hire my own models and dress them up with my handmade pieces. I want to be one of those people that is caught by streetstyle photographers. And I want to be that person who walks out from the backstage as all the models are done presenting the pieces. Yes, I want to be big.
Istituto Marangoni is what appears to be my motivation to wake up in the morning and dress up good. I can feel that soon it's going to be my home. I want to study there. Seeing a lot designers are Istituto Marangoni's graduates, it makes me even more motivated. You know that moment when your brain keeps telling you 'you can be one of them, you can be big like they are now', which what makes me more living my life now. That somehow I got that perfect reason to wake up in the morning.
But in some way, insecurities always try to block my way. I always wondered if I was supposed to be excellent at something or not. I think, because of that, I have a lot of insecurities about myself.
Anyways, there are other things that preoccupy me, my books, my music, my computer and everything that attaches itself to that particular technology.
I like to read. Since I was kid, I've always begged my mom to build me just a tiny library for my books. People don't really see it in me, that I actually have a passion for reading. Sometimes they are surprised when they see my bookshelf and I don't see what's so surprising about it. Here's this thing about me with books, when I found a perfect and well written book, I couldn't help but read it uninterrupted. I could finish a 400 pages book in less than 3 days.
I like music. People always think that I'm the kind of the girl who always listens to dj remix, hip hop R&B or whatever it is since to be honest, I go to parties a lot. Well I like them, but they just don't fit me. And again, people find it surprising when they found out I like pop indie music with a little bit of chill dj remix. Majestic Casual's musics have recently take up most of my playlist.
I like technologies as well. It's basically like a source of where my inspirations came from. Not really though but yeah you know what I mean. As usual I search things and when I find it interesting, I print it and stamp it in my kind-of-scrapbook because I basically just stamp the picture and that's it. The next day I will just go through the pages then sometimes ideas will pop up. And that's how I usually find inspirations. Most probably going to make a post on my kind-of-scrapbook, stay tuned.
I see myself as a control freak. That's one thing that I would cross out if I could. I hate to say it, but at some point, I think that people think I'm a perfectionist. That I always want things to go as I want them to go. And I hate it about me. But I couldn't help it. I tell people what to do, even though sometimes it's for their own good. And when they don't want to do it or they don't listen, I get pissed. To be example when my friend is at the bad state and they seek for advice so I did give them advice like I told them to this and that, then it turns out they don't want to do it, I will get pissed.
Some people were just born annoying and I guess I'm one of 'em. Don't get annoyed by me, will you? :) Here comes the end of the crap. But at least you now know who I really am and that I'm not perfect, not even close. I'm still at the moment where I'm looking for answers of some questions. And am still figuring it out. I'm still growing up.